One of the most challenging aspects to maintaining and developing healthy relationships for many individuals is learning how to forgive. How often do we find ourselves putting our guard up when meeting new people as a result of the hurt we've experienced through past friendships, romantic relationships, and even pain inflicted by a family member? Harboring this type of unforgiveness limits our opportunities to experience the beauty of building potentially long-lasting and purposeful relationships. A heart of unforgiveness not only stunts the growth of relationships but the stress of harboring resentment can also affect our health and overall out look on life.
Stress has been identified as the source of many illnesses to include some forms of cancer, heart attacks, high blood pressure, mental disorders, and Rheumatoid arthritis to name a few. Often times the easier option is to block negative events and disappointments from our minds, or dissassociate ourselves from the people who have hurt us. Regardless of how many relationships we end or painful memories we suppress, the pain still remains. Through developing a heart of forgiveness, many relationships can be restored, and even made stronger through the lessons learned during the process of forgiving. Though in many cases the severity of trauma we have experienced may make it difficult for us to even consider forgiving, we must remember that in order to be forgiven, one must also forgive.
"But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses." Mark 11:26
Suggestions For Developing A Heart Of Forgiveness
1. Acknowledge the source of unforgiveness or deed for which you are in need of forgiveness.
2. Pray and seek counsel or spiritual guidance as to how to begin the forgiveness process.
3. Address the problem by writing a letter or arranging a time for meeting with the person or persons with whom you have a need to forgive or are in need of being forgiven.
4. Be patient with yourself
Posts
Thank you for the great reminder and useful suggestions. The reality is that lack of forgiveness is toxic, and though it is incredibly difficult at times, we can choose not to be a part of "the offender's" life, but still forgive them so that we way move on with our lives, sans the weight of hate/hurt.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing!!!! I think sometimes we feel as if we must remain attached to individuals who have hurt us in order to display true forgiveness. I love how you explain that forgiveness does not mean we must force ourselves to maintain relationships with our offenders. This statement is going to bless many who struggle in this area, including me. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. One thing I try to remember as it relates to forgiveness is that my forgiveness is purely selfish. You see, I know the toxic effects of unforgiveness and I refuse to let someone control me in that way. I choose freedom over bondage!
ReplyDeleteGood points. I've heard it said that one of the most important steps is to make a decision to forgive and then stick with it. If i think about it, I can find all sorts of reasons not to forgive, but once I've decided to just do it, things go easier from that point.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that Tangie! I'm with you, I prefer freedom over bondage!
ReplyDeleteThat's so true Joy! We can always find reasons many of which are very legitimate for choosing not to forgive, but sticking to our goal of forgiving is key to releasing ourselves from the bondage of unforgiveness.
ReplyDelete