In a perfect world we would be able to respond to all e-mails upon receipt, return phone calls within a day's time, chair every committee, take on and lead multiple projects, and attend every event that we are invited to, all while trying to remain spiritually centered, making a living, advancing our education, catering to the needs of spouses, raising children, and trying to make time along the way to have fun. The reality is that there is a limit to the number of commitments we are able to manage before evidence of neglect begin to appear within areas of our lives that are not receiving the necessary attention.
Day to day many of us strive to be everything to everybody without considering if we're truly able to shuffle additional responsibilities and requests into our already full lives. The term being a "people pleaser" is often used to describe the personality types that find it difficult to say NO, when being presented with demands that stretch them beyond their limitations. There have been times when I have been guilty of being a people pleaser, simply because just as the term suggests, I wanted everyone to be pleased. My love for helping and supporting others often left very little time to spend with God or for myself, often leaving me feeling very exhausted. I am so thankful for the light bulb moment when I discovered that there's only one of me. One person cannot be everywhere, with everybody, all of the time, and live a God-centered life of purpose. Even today I have to remind myself of this each time I am tempted to overcommit myself to people and causes that are in need. I strongly believe in living a life of purpose and supporting others in fulfillinig their purpose; however, I am convinced that it can be done with balance.
This week I encourage you to empower yourself to say NO, when asked to take on tasks that will leave you unbalanced, overextended, and depleted of energy. What good is taking on additional committments if you will only later find yourself bitter, resentful, and eventually stepping down from a new responsiblity that was never purposed for you to take on? The truth is, no matter how hard we try to mold our lifestyles into that of a superhero, there's only one God, and even he rested on the seventh day!
Tips For Identifying When It's Time To Say NO!
1. Seek spiritual guidance before taking on new responsiblities
2. Meditate on past experiences, determine how much you are able to balance before evidence of burn-out begin to surface.
3. Calculate how much time remains after your daily non-negotiables are fulfilled.
4. Determine if the task you are considering holds meaning, and adds value to the lives of others.
5. Prepare yourself for the disappointment others will express when you are unable to fulfill their requests.
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So true and so helpful. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteI love this post for so many reasons, but one tip that stands out to me is tip #5. I've had to learn how to be okay with the disappointment of others when I tell them no. I don't allow them to put me on a guilt-trip and the more you practice doing it, the easier it gets! Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks Dwan!
ReplyDeleteTangie, I too struggle with tip #5, we want to encourage happiness and peace not create disappointment and dissatisfaction within others. But we must remain true to God first and to ourselves in order to truly live lives of purpose.
ReplyDelete