February Week 4 - Exploring The Meaning Of Love - Developing A Heart Of Forgiveness

One of the most challenging aspects to maintaining and developing healthy relationships for many individuals is learning how to forgive. How often do we find ourselves putting our guard up when meeting new people as a result of the hurt we've experienced through past friendships, romantic relationships, and even pain inflicted by a family member? Harboring this type of unforgiveness limits our opportunities to experience the beauty of building potentially long-lasting and purposeful relationships. A heart of unforgiveness not only stunts the growth of relationships but the stress of harboring resentment can also affect our health and overall out look on life.

Stress has been identified as the source of many illnesses to include some forms of cancer, heart attacks, high blood pressure, mental disorders, and Rheumatoid arthritis to name a few. Often times the easier option is to block negative events and disappointments from our minds, or dissassociate ourselves from the people who have hurt us. Regardless of how many relationships we end or painful memories we suppress, the pain still remains. Through developing a heart of forgiveness, many relationships can be restored, and even made stronger through the lessons learned during the process of forgiving. Though in many cases the severity of trauma we have experienced may make it difficult for us to even consider forgiving, we must remember that in order to be forgiven, one must also forgive.

"But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses." Mark 11:26



Suggestions For Developing A Heart Of Forgiveness


1. Acknowledge the source of unforgiveness or deed for which you are in need of forgiveness.

2. Pray and seek counsel or spiritual guidance as to how to begin the forgiveness process.

3. Address the problem by writing a letter or arranging a time for meeting with the person or persons with whom you have a need to forgive or are in need of being forgiven.

4. Be patient with yourself

February Week 3 - Exploring The Meaning Of Love - Making Time To Love

It's amazing how often we complain of there just not being quite enough hours in the day to accomplish all of the tasks on our "to do" lists. The truth of the matter is that regardless of how many things are left undone, we tend to make time to do what we want to do. Notice that I didn't say that we make time for the people that matter to us most, or the causes that are closest to our heart, nor did I refer to time devoted to fulfilling our life purpose. Unfortunately sometimes the people who we love the most are likely to take a back seat as we pursue our passions and strive to live with purpose. Then there are some days when even the passion we have for living a life of purpose becomes stagnant as we become immersed with the demands of day-to-day life.

When I examine my day-to-day routine, there are a few things that I know that no matter how busy my schedule becomes I am sure to take time to do. Whether it's eating, watching Oprah, reading, listening to music, or chatting with a special friend, there are some things that bring us so much peace and joy that we wouldn't think to go a day without making sure they were done. These are called the things that we naturally want to do, and sometimes in the process of doing what we want to do we fail to do what is needed in order to maintain positive relationships. It's a blessing when our wants and needs align so that as we fulfill our wants our needs are being met simultaneously; however, there are times when we must make a committment to stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zones and do a little something each day to demonstrate our love for our family and friends.

I encourage us to put aside some time each day this week to do something to nurture our relationships. That includes our relationships with ourselves. Sometimes we become so busy that even our needs are placed on the back burner. It's easy to do what we want, but love requires unselfishly giving, and through giving needs are fulfilled. Have a Happy Valentine's Day!!! :)

February Week 2 - Exploring The Meaning Of Love - Positive Communications

Remember the phrase "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?" Sounds nice, but the truth is words do hurt. I'm sure that many of us can think back to childhood memories of being teased and taunted and how the negativity of the words used left us with feelings of inadequacies. The reality is that words are powerful. They can either be used to empower or serve as the source of a break-down in one's self-esteem. This week as we continue to focus on the meaning of love, we must be mindful of the words we use when communicating with others. James 1:19 encourages us to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Sometimes the best decision we can make when communicating is practicing our right to remain silent. Silence can result in enhanced listening, time to reflect on the dialogue taking place, and gives us power over our emotionally-driven responses. This week before releasing words into the atmosphere that cannot be taken back, take a moment to reflect, and rethink before responding.

February Week 1 - Exploring The Meaning Of Love - What Is Self-Love?

Happy February!!! For many February is the month of hearts, flowers, candy, and most of all LOVE!!! We have cleared out the clutter, and established our foundation for success! As we continue our twelve month journey of self-discovery and personal development, this month will be dedicated to understanding the meaning of love as it relates to our relationship with others as well as ourselves. When considering the meaning of love, I am consumed with thoughts of God's unconditional love. His grace, mercy, and faithfulness should be our model for loving ourselves and those around us. Often times we enter relationships hoping to fill pieces that are missing within ourselves, only to find that our significant others are unable to fulfill our areas of emptiness, which often leads to feelings of resentment. It's amazing the demands we place upon others to do for us what we have been unsuccessful at doing for ourselves. We desire to be loved unconditionally but we have yet to forgive ourselves for past mistakes, we often settle for mediocrity instead of answering the call that has been purposely placed upon our lives, and we allow the world's negativity to destroy our peace. With so much unforgiveness and lack of peace within ourselves, how is it possible for us to truly love others? As the cliche goes, hurt people, hurt others, and I feel that healed people are able to support others in healing. Let's begin the month of February by exploring the meaning of self-love and spend each day doing something to demonstrate love for ourselves.

What Is Self-Love?

1. Reverance For Your Individuality

- Embrace your uniqueness, you were created with a God-given purpose.
- Identifying and pursuing our life purpose enables us to make a difference in the world through sharing our individual gifts and talents.

2. Recognize Your Value

- Live a life that values who you are as person. Eliminate habits that are toxic to your mind, body, and spirit.

3. Respect Yourself

- Self-Respect is the ability to live our lives in a way that is pleasing and honorable to God without compromise. We can create our own values, and measures of self-respect, but God's standard for living is infallible. The more our lives align with the word of God the more we are able to love ourselves and the world around us.


What will you do to Reverance your individuality, Recognize your value, and show Respect for yourself this week?

Suggestions:

- Spend this week treating yourself the way you expect to be treated by others. Treat yourself with patience, kindness, and forgiveness. Listen to your inner voice of reason in regards to how to proceed in making important decisions.


- Make a list of your personality attributes that you like or dislike. Develop a plan for how to maximize the positives and decrease the negatives.


- Do something each day this week that you enjoy doing with or without another person present. Create an additional list of things you have never tried but feel you may find enjoyable. Tentatively schedule times to pursue these interests throughout the year.


- Write down a list of areas where you are struggling with self-forgiveness.


- Pray for a renewed heart and spirit.


*Remember...The goal of self-discovery and personal development is to become our best selves! Don't forget to continue the positive habits that were developed in January and keep our lives clutter-free as we focus on exploring the meaning of love.*