March - Cultivating A Lifestyle Of Balance - Month-End Reflection

If you were able to view the progression of your life over the course of the past three months as a mirror reflection, would you be at peace with the scenes that appeared before you? A quarter of the year has neared completion, which makes the coming days a great time to re-assess, re-evaluate, and re-vamp our goals for 2010. I challenge us to dedicate the remaining days of March in prayerful reflection upon the progress made thus far, areas in need of improvement, and the development of a plan of action for transitioning into the month of April. This journey of living a life of purpose is not always clear cut and easily navigated. It requires discipline, determination, and most of all faith. It is for this reason that I am making the focus for April, Living A Life Of Faith. See you in April!!!


Month-End Review

January - Clearing Out The Clutter
February - Exploring The Meaning Of Love
March - Cultivating A Lifestyle Of Balance

Are you living an uncluttered and loving life of balance?


Questions To Consider During Your Month-End Inspection

- Have I consistantly sought God's direction?
- Is my daily routine effective?
- Which areas are in need of improvement?
- Which areas have I achieved the most success?
- What do I plan to achieve before the end of April?
- How can I better manage my time?

March Week 4 - Cultivating A Lifestyle Of Balance - Live Your LIfe!!!

One thing my pastor often says is "Enjoy life, this is not a dress rehearsal." This statement often plays in my mind as I find myself moving from day to day and from task to task so quickly that by the end of the week my free time is generally spent in a state of rest in order to regain enough energy to begin the cycle all over again. Sometimes we remain in "dress rehearsal" mode instead of allowing ourselves to enjoy the fruits of our labor. It is important that we take the time to ask some serious questions and consider whether some of our daily tasks need to be trimmed. Are the degrees, careers, and lifestyles we're working so hard to achieve and maintain truly what we have been called to accomplish, or are we simply trying to compete with others, maintain an image that is not who our hearts truly desire to represent, or fulfilling the expectations assigned to us by others? How would we live our lives if we lived freely according to God's purpose without having concern for the scruntiny of those around us? How much more enjoyable would our lives be if we made more time to enjoy life versus living as if our worlds would collapse if we stepped away for even a moment to exhale?

Living a life of purpose has proven to be a process of examining and re-examining the decisions, goals, and routines that are manifested within my life and seeking God for assurance and guidance that they line up with his plan. Doing so often leads to the exclusion of doing those things that are not only purposeful but are also enjoyable. Lucky for me, for the most part my path of purpose has been quite enjoyable while allowing me to fulfill the vision God has given me all at the same time. There are days; however, when it's nice to just live without having a constant mental task list to follow, or to just enjoy doing some things that may not necessarily have anything to do with my purpose but just make life more enjoyable. This spring I'm looking forward to planting a flower garden, doing some decorating, frequenting some spoken-word venues, visiting some amusement parks, catching a few plays, learning some new recipes, doing more traveling, and spending more quality time with family and friends, and maybe even trying something new like white water rafting. These are just a few pleasures that bring me so much joy, but in the midst of living my life on purpose and with purpose I seldom make time to indulge in the things that I enjoy doing the most.

One of the most important lessons that I've learned this year is that I am on a lifelong journey, and just like a theater production the show will continue after the intermission. This week I encourage you to incorporate your own personal intermission and treat yourself to at least one thing that brings you joy.

March Week 3 - Cultivating A Lifestyle Of Balance - Embracing Moments Of Solitude

When was the last time you went one day without answering your phone, checking your e-mail, turning on the television, or logging onto the internet? It's amazing how we sometimes live as if our very lives depend on our ability to "stay connected". I understand that in many cases the success of businesses, careers and livelihoods are dependent upon not missing an important message, call, and social networking has become instrumental to the success of many ventures. How often have you been to the movie theater, a concert, or professional ball game and noticed someone so consumed with texting or e-mailing that it seemed nearly impossible for them to enjoy the excitement taking place right in front of them? As a teacher, to add to the challenges I experience with educating youth with already short attention spans, I find myself competing with electronic devices hidden under sweaters and desks.

I remember what life was like prior to the emergence of cellular devices, computers, and social networking. It was during this time that I developed my love for reading and journaling. The largest distraction to be reckoned with during these years was the presence of cable television. Today, I'm sure that even the thought of going a few hours without the rings, beeps, and buzzes that keep us connected to the world seems nearly unbearable for many. I can't help but to wonder how much more productive, peaceful, and relaxed we would be if we dedicated just a few hours to silence and solitude.

Maybe your life revolves around meeting the demands and needs of others to the point that you can't remember the last time you had a moment to take care of your own personal needs and desires. This week I challenge you to dedicate some time each day to having a period of solitude. Schedule some time to break free from the bondage of ringing phones, television, logging onto the internet, and replace these habits with a period of reflection and relaxation. If we're constantly being bombarded with the ways of the world, how can we truly hear from God? How can we truly recognize his purpose if we do not purposefully make time to listen, reflect, and respond? If you feel guilty or selfish for scheduling time for yourself, meditate on the following scripture and remember that the world will continue to turn whether you're in the driver's seat or embracing a moment just to watch the flowers blowing in the wind.

"When he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone." Matthew 14:23

March Week 2 - Cultivating A Lifestyle Of Balance - The Art Of Saying NO!

In a perfect world we would be able to respond to all e-mails upon receipt, return phone calls within a day's time, chair every committee, take on and lead multiple projects, and attend every event that we are invited to, all while trying to remain spiritually centered, making a living, advancing our education, catering to the needs of spouses, raising children, and trying to make time along the way to have fun. The reality is that there is a limit to the number of commitments we are able to manage before evidence of neglect begin to appear within areas of our lives that are not receiving the necessary attention.

Day to day many of us strive to be everything to everybody without considering if we're truly able to shuffle additional responsibilities and requests into our already full lives. The term being a "people pleaser" is often used to describe the personality types that find it difficult to say NO, when being presented with demands that stretch them beyond their limitations. There have been times when I have been guilty of being a people pleaser, simply because just as the term suggests, I wanted everyone to be pleased. My love for helping and supporting others often left very little time to spend with God or for myself, often leaving me feeling very exhausted. I am so thankful for the light bulb moment when I discovered that there's only one of me. One person cannot be everywhere, with everybody, all of the time, and live a God-centered life of purpose. Even today I have to remind myself of this each time I am tempted to overcommit myself to people and causes that are in need. I strongly believe in living a life of purpose and supporting others in fulfillinig their purpose; however, I am convinced that it can be done with balance.

This week I encourage you to empower yourself to say NO, when asked to take on tasks that will leave you unbalanced, overextended, and depleted of energy. What good is taking on additional committments if you will only later find yourself bitter, resentful, and eventually stepping down from a new responsiblity that was never purposed for you to take on? The truth is, no matter how hard we try to mold our lifestyles into that of a superhero, there's only one God, and even he rested on the seventh day!


Tips For Identifying When It's Time To Say NO!

1. Seek spiritual guidance before taking on new responsiblities

2. Meditate on past experiences, determine how much you are able to balance before evidence of burn-out begin to surface.

3. Calculate how much time remains after your daily non-negotiables are fulfilled.

4. Determine if the task you are considering holds meaning, and adds value to the lives of others.

5. Prepare yourself for the disappointment others will express when you are unable to fulfill their requests.

March Week 1 - Cultivating A Lifestyle Of Balance - Identifying Daily Non-Negotiables

January's focus was clearing out the clutter, February was dedicated to exploring the meaning of love and now as we enter the third month of 2010 the one thing I desire more of is balance. In the midst of striving to win in 2010 I've discovered that I am making positive progress in some areas while very little attention is being given to others. Life can sometimes feel like a see-saw, we often find ourselves experiencing success and acheiving goals yet the downside to our success is that often times our families, relationships, peace, health and overall well-being suffer as a result. As I was pondering whether the sacrifices I have been making for the sake of fulfilling personal goals were worth the late nights, days of fatigue, disconnectedness I often feel from family, friends, and the world, the answer was an absolute no. Yes, there are times when our time may be limited and we may not always have the freedom to spend the time with people and enjoying the activities that make life pleasurable as often as we would like, but I truly believe that with more focus given to balance, we can still live lives that are more well-rounded.

Periodically I find myself going through stages of being either extremely focused on fulfilling my life purpose, or either unable to focus on anything beyond relaxation and having fun. In the midst of living with purpose I often find myself isolated, to the point of nearly disconnecting myself from the very people who love and support me in all that I do. Or finding myself too fatigued to take the necessary steps needed in order to fulfill my goals, eventually resulting in having to devote a few days to catching up on rest, or recovering from illness created by lack or rest or stress. Then on the other hand when I become too relaxed, very little gets accomplished, and I find myself wondering where the days have gone. These experiences have taught me that too much of anything can lead to negative results, once again confirming the importance of balance.

In an effort to live a more balanced life, this week's focus will be dedicated to identifying daily non-negotiables. We must identify which tasks, and responsibilities must be adhered to daily in order to maintain lives of peace and balance. There are certain things that must be done daily in order to maintain our relationships, health, careers, finances, and the overall business of orchestrating our lives. Once these non-negotiables are identified we can then decide how the remaining time will be utilized. This may mean less time for doing the things that our hearts yearn to do 24 hours per day, 7 days a week, but in return we are actually achieving the type of balance that will sustain us and provide the support and structure needed as we pursue our purpose and passion.


Steps For Identifying Non-Negotiables


Step 1: Plan how you would like to began each day
(Meditation, Prayer, Breakfast, Music, Journaling, exerising ect)

Step 2: Identify the tasks that must be accomplished daily in
order to maintain peace and order
(arriving to work on-time, cooking, time spent with family/friends, managing finances
cleaning/organizing, time devoted to fulfilling personal goals ect.)

Step 3: Schedule time for fulfilling the identified non-negotiables.

Step 4: Determine a daily cut-off time, tasks that are not completed by this time, if possible should be scheduled for another day.

Step 5: Develop an end of day, nightly wind-down ritual.


There's a popular quote by John Lennon that says "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans," which lets us know that even in the midst of a perfect plan life happens! Yes, some days we may have to work a little later, yes, there will be days when we feel a little out of balance, but by putting our plan into practice we can reduce our lack of balance and develop routines and lifestyles that with time become more statisfying and fulfilling.